Gentlemen, Please Wash the Crack of Your Ass

Twice in the last month, I have run into otherwise tidy men who did not wash inside the crack of their asses.

Athena Fatbottum


Image by Darko Djurin from Pixabay

“Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can’t tell anybody about.”-

The crack is the division that begins at the top of your butt and runs down to your anus. The crack divides you butt into two halves. The men did not have dirt under their nails; their skin was clean. They used moisturizer on their faces and lotion on their skin. They smelled and looked good. They obviously cared about their bodies and took pride in themselves.

Yet, once I undressed these men, there was stuff in the crack of their asses. We needed to shower before that butt got in my bed. During the shower, I showed them how to wash their ass easily. It was amazing the ooze that can accumulate if the area is not cleaned daily — the things in the crack form a dark, mushy, smelly substance.

Take soap, your soapy finger, or a soapy washcloth and run it down the crack from the very top to the hole in your butt. A bar of soap works fine for this process as well. Then rinse. You need to hold your butt crack open both to soap and flush it clean.

In one case, an older man was so embarrassed that we did not have sex immediately after our cleansing shower. He could not get it up. Instead, I made us gin and tonics, then we talked.

During our conversation, he agreed with me that this lack of male butt crack cleaning came from being uncertain about touching his butt. I pointed out that if he wanted me to give him a blow job, my nose would be near his butt crack; some men like their balls sucked, and their buttholes twiddled. I don’t want to smell or touch old stuff in his crack accidentally. I let him know he was not the first, nor would he be the last man who would shower with me before sex. He finally relaxed. We then got it poppin.

Having sex is one of the greatest pleasures of my life. Taking a shower with someone to update their cleanliness is not a big deal at all. The shower becomes foreplay, leading to delicious sex. Delicious sex leads to a happy, relaxed life. Everyone wants a happy life.

This is a Sex Public Service Announcement (PSA). You can thank me later.

Stay safe out there.



Athena Fatbottum

Adventuress, loves new things, willing to try anything